By peace | December 17, 2006
Jeff was called in by his boss about his application to go on leave for his honeymoon. “How long do you intend to be away, Jeff?” asked the boss.
“How long do you suggest, sir?” enquired Jeff.
“How can I tell?” answered the boss, “I haven’t even seen the bride.”
Confucius said: You know you’ve reached middle age when people tell you to pull in your stomach — and you already have.
Ah Pui was describing his first game of tennis at the office,”My brain told me ‘Run, run for the ball. Get it and hit it over the net.’ And then my body said ‘Who? me?’”
The most tactful sacking on record goes as follows: The boss called in the potential ‘sackee’ and said,”Mark, I don’t know how we are going to get along without you, but starting Monday we’re going to try.”
Muthu went to his favourite corner coffeeshop and ordered several bottles of beer. He poured them into several glasses in a row and then drank from the first, the third, the fifth, the seventh, ninth and eleventh glasses.
“Don’t you want the rest of the glasses?” enquired Ah Seng, the coffeeshop owner who had been watching in astonishment.
“No thanks,” said Muthu, wiping the froth from his mouth. “My doctor said I could only have the odd drink.”
A boss was upset because his new stenographer was late. Fuming, he said as she finally came in all tarted up,” You should have been here at nine!”
“Why?” She asked, “What happened?”
Two psychiatrists in the private hospital were going down the lift together. One was a very senior doctor who had spent years in practice. The other, a newcomer to the business, turned to him and said, “Dr Lee, how do you manage to keep so cool and unperturbed all day after seeing so many patients? I really feel terrible after the first hour.”
“That’s the secret, Dr Yeo,” said Dr Lee, “Who listens?”