The Plight Of A Housewife

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By peace | January 26, 2007

I wish to die. I wish I can vanish from this world. I am not rich, life is not luxurious and there was no much amusements and entertainment. Everyday what I do is ‘working’ for the family. The life of a housewife is like shit. Even though it is hard, but I am doing it willingly and for the good of the family and children. But it is so meaningless to have people who is unappreciative of what you are doing and can you imagine how I feel or a housewife feel if his husband were to support other people and look up on other women instead of someone who is supposed to be closer to him, the wife? To the husband, this wife, a housewife, is everyday depreciating in values to him. Everyday, while the wife is busy ‘working’ all day and all night long, the husband is having his fun time and enjoying himself during working time or during his leisure time. The plight of a housewife is something which nobody can understand.

I would wish I can go to work. But that doesn’t solve my problems. If I go to work, I need to get a maid. Getting a maid is not a luxurious living. It is a necessity. I would rather not have it. I used to work and used to have a maid, I need to train the maid, supervise the maid. She cannot be left alone. Sometimes there are more ‘work’ and extra expenses involved to have a maid. But I choose to ‘work’ part-time at home, earning bits of money here and there, by writing blogs and writing at Helium. The amount of money at Helium is very minute. I have yet to even hit the minimum amount after writing 26 posts. The minimum withdrawal amount is $25. But every drops make an ocean. Anyway I do not care so much at this point. I am just very depress at what I have achieved all this time by committing myself to this family and ‘putting’ their priority before me — being accused, scolded with XXX and not even comparable to a stranger. What kind of support did I have?

This is what I have written at Helium:

Do stay at home moms get the recognition they deserve?
The answer is a sure no. Stay at home moms or housewives are not easy as what many people view it to be. Lets start by what is the job of a stay home mum. As the name already suggest, it is a mother who stay at home. A stay home mom is a women who stay at home to look after her children and ensure that everything at home run smoothly and the house is clean and tidy. The job of a stay home mum includes disciplining and teaching the children besides the role of managing the household. The working time is long. It is a all time job, a whole day and whole night job and you can hardly have any annual leave, sick leave nor are they any locum or any partimers to replace you.

Stay home mums of young children is the stressful of all. When children are small, they require a lot of attention and time. It is even more stressful when they have small babies and many children to look after. Caring of small babies require you to wake up at several time intervals and this depleted you of your sleeping time. In the day time, you need to look after younger children, who need you to bring them to and fro the school.

While looking after babies, need you time and companionship, you must divide your time to do housework. When one baby is sleeping, another one is awake at time. Small children want you to play with them, and you need to nurture and educate them as well. On the other hand, you need to do housework such as sweeping the floor, picking up toys, mopping the floor, do some dusting every now and then, wash the laundry clothes, hang them and also to fold the dried clothes. You need to cook for the family, feed the babies and children.

The life of a housewife is no fun. The life of a stay home mum is living for others. There is hardly any time for living for yourself. You need to serve the family. When you have put in so much time and effort in the family and you are well appreciated and love by your children and spouse, you will feel that you have done your job and what you have sacrificed is worth it. However, this is mostly not the case. Man always want to look at beautiful women. Where stay home mum is concerned, they are always dressed up for the home, in casual home clothes. Everyday what the husband see is that. While husband who work, went out of the home, they see women well dressed for work, capable women and they tend to have extramarital affairs in time to come. They lose interest in their wives who are housewives.

As a stay home mums of small children before, I yearn for relief — relief from the children’s chores and household chores, to have a break of my own. But that is not the case. Cooking the meals, tidying up the house, waiting for the husband to be back, he never appreciate what you have done. Healthy and nutritious food was cooked and yet nothing seem to appeal to them. It’s all in their mentality. The other side of the hill is always greener. They think you are incapable of anything. Only know how to do housework and nothing more. They claim to be tired after a day’s of work. They claim to need to rest and not to help out even a single bit. They claim to say housework and looking after children is the job of a women.

After work, they devote themselves to computer. They chat on the internet — play games, online chat with the opposite sex, porn and so on. This is what we get for marriage. This is what we get as stay home mums who sacrificed our time and energy doing our best for the family. In the end, we lose out to any single women out there who speak to him on the internet. Love is developed on the net through time. The husband soon become frustrated and agitated at the cries of babies and children. He longed to leave the house, to be with the other ladies which they knew — friends or colleagues, it doesn’t matter. Regardless of the two, he is having extramarital affairs, he gets to enjoy himself, but the poor wife is all stressed out, alone with the children and house.

I do not know whether in this world there are people who so deeply love their wife, and who would do anything for their wife. I do not know of any men who are willing to help the wife out to do housework after a day of work. There is no words of praise when you have done well. There is no words of encouraging. There are only criticism and the attitude of the wife is always wrong — the rest of the people is always right. There is no support from the husband. Where the wife supports the husband, the same thing also applies to the wife. We need our husband to be supportive and be standing at our side when things go wrong. But it is never the case. Words of sorrows and hearts of pains and grief, who can we share?

When we need to take a little break, who will cover up our duties? There is no time and no room for sickness. When you are ill and sick, you slow down, your work pile up. Stay home mum need to be dependent on the husband. No work no money. Life is stressful enough for the stay home mums, and where the husband is not cooperative, flirting around and having affairs, and abusive to the wife, it is even worse. We just can cry to ourselves quietly.

Though I said that stay home moms do not get the recognition they deserve, I do believe that there are nice guys around who really love their wives, and who are willing to share household chores, cooking, laundry and looking after the children as well.

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Read all my post at Helium (26 articles written)

Everyday my heart is in pain. It is pounding hard, it is laid with heavy weights on it, I am breathless. It is tiring and non rewarding being a housewife. Your husband do not value you. You are not financially independent and you look unattractive, everyday wearing cheap clothes at home. I wish to sleep forever and never wake up. I would want to rest in peace, and forget all my troubles and problems. I do not want to be accused nor do I want to see what I do not want to see. Life is torturous for nobody understand the plight of a housewife.