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My First Grief
By peace | July 21, 2007
Grief and death is perhaps the things which has caused me to wonder the existence of life.
I dare not say that I have the true knowledge of God. I born in a Catholic family. My parents are not well-educated. My grandparents had never attended schools. They were Catholics too. I also don’t know. As a child, I only know what my mother told me. She only knows that we had to go to Church and pray to God. Who is God? How to pray? Pray to Who? I don’t even know HIM. It was a mystery to me. I was told to go Catechism class. Everything was so foreign to me. Everytime I heard the catechist said God, God and God. I cannot visualize, I cannot imagine and I cannot associate anything when I have no ideas at all what on earth is God.
I read the bible though. I want to learn more. I read about Jesus in the bible. Those were how I spent my nights before I sleep when I was young. During my secondary school, I had Bible Studies and I learn the whole book of Luke and Acts of the Apostle. I had stopped reading the Bible for a long time, ever since adulthood begin where making money is a concerned. Life is full of home and now it is a all about juggling from home, work and children too. Time is just too precious.
This picture is found on the net, not mine. During my childhood days, it is hard to take photographs, there is no digital camera and no computer too. I cannot capture my pet’s picture.
Since young, I had been wondering the reasons for existence and continual of life, since death is a final destiny of man, a confirmed fate of man. My first grief was during my primary school, I cannot remember my age, but I can remember what is it about. It’s the death of my pet chicken. It was not a natural death, and not negligence or anything at all on my part. I looked after my pet, play with it, took photographs together with it. My chicken walked round the house. I cleaned up every mess it had created. I cleaned up its home, which is a paper box, something which was obtained free — permission to take a paper box from the grocery shop owner. Everytime the paperbox was dirty, I would ask for another paper box from the shop owner. I had to lay the bottom of the paper box with newspaper. Everyday or two, I would change the newspaper.
Nobody likes pets at home. But I just love it. I like to watch my little chicken in the box. I love to observe its behaviour, how it ate, touched the body, the beak, the backside that could not seem to ‘rest’ — the backside is like a ‘mouth’ that cannot stop talking. I watched my little chick grew, from a little yellow chick to a ‘teenage’ white chicken with black legs. My mother bought the chick for me, but it was my mother who ended its life too. For three or more days I was sad and angry with her. But I got over it soon. There are more pets to come in my childhood after that. But that is not the main thing I want to say about in this post.
Getting To Know God
My reason for posting this is in response to a comment posted in response to a post I had posted about God. The comment is this: Do you believe in the existence of God? How do God communicate with us? Why so much human suffering? What is the purpose?
It takes me so long to have an idea of God now. So how can I explain everything in just one day and just in a few sentences? This would be the beginning journey of this topic. All these were my questions and still are. Let me share what I know and what I had experienced with whoever is interested to know.
Topics: All Posts, Personal, Pets |
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